Dear Cousin,

How have you been?

I send these letters and just sit by the door every day waiting for something that has my name on it. Sometimes it feels like years go by before I receive even a piece of mail, and honestly, when it does come in, it's usually bad news or someone asking for something.

I don't know, I could be hurt. But I've had a perspective shift. Somewhere in my prayers, God started showing me how to appreciate the fact that I could answer those letters with a solution and have the resources to bless whoever is asking (especially bill collectors), versus being frustrated.

I guess that's the key to staying happy, trusting God and shifting your view from what's wrong to what's right. Suddenly the bad seems insignificant.

Anyhow. I won't hold you.

Bek and I have been holding down the fort, and I'm pretty proud of that. Like I said last time, it's good to have someone to share the journey with. Especially because before she joined me, it was lonely. And I mean LONELY.

Yes, God is there (don't tell grandma). But even the Good Book tells us there's a difference, and just as important as His love is, so is the love of those He's called us to love and to love us. So when that love goes missing or never exists, winters are colder than usual and summers exist with no A/C.

For me, at times it would get so lonely I'd cry.

...Chill out. Don't even try and act like you've never cried. I don't care, I'm going to tell you the truth, I’ve shed big crocodile tears.

Because the pain of loneliness comes second only to involuntary loneliness. The kind where you don't fit between the spaces you used to fill out. The kind where you're too far from home to turn back and too far from your destination to settle. So you float in this "in-between," this island you Christopher Columbus'd your way to.

Population: 1.

But it's here; this island of your own that you will, you must, you ought to arrive in order to travel this journey. But I want to give you a few housekeeping rules to help you adjust smoother (cause you'll be there a while). And when you arrive you'll feel this urge to throw everything you came with overboard. Do it and don't look back.

First things first. You are not the first, the only, and you won't be the last. And you did not discover the island. It already belongs to Someone. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner it makes sense that you're visiting. You were invited. In fact, while you were steering the boat, you had no idea the waves were navigating you to that exact place.

You'll throw a fit because it's "off course." But it's not. It's the only way through. Had the Owner let you stay your course, the storms of the sea would've swallowed you whole.

So take your shoes off, because for a while it'll be you and Him, getting to know each other. He'll teach you about yourself and about Him. And you'll... well, you just learn.

Lesson one: Do whatever He says. I promise it'll make things better.

About those things you threw into the water — don't worry about them. Many times you'll want to go dive after them for a sense of belonging, connection, and familiarity. But that swim backwards will cost you your journey forward.

Speaking of forward, let Him tell you when it's safe. Don't stress it. Many times I've put what few things I've had back in my boat, trying to sail away, and I quickly find myself pulling back up to the dock. Why? Cause it wasn't time yet.

Sure, you'll feel behind. I often still do. But something tells me He's got a clock hidden on this island and He's watching it (of course, given that you are embracing the moment).

Oh, and there's a phone you can call home and try to talk to friends. But the connection gets so bad you'll realize you can hear them but they can't hear you. Or they can't understand you, at least. So you get everything from them, but they can't get much from you with that much distance.

They'll have to travel a bit and pass some of those storms you did in order to get close enough to start making out what you're saying. If not, the fatigue of not being heard and understood will eat at you and resurrect the feelings of loneliness again.

In my personal experience, this prompted me to hang the phone up and not go near it. Not because I don't want to, but because the pain of being ridiculed, misunderstood, and judged — all while loving, accepting, and trying to motivate — becomes a lopsided game of tug of war.

And the only way to win? Let go of the rope and choose a new game.

I don't want this for you, but it may be necessary on your journey.

Ok, this is loaded. You should read it a few times and understand what I'm saying.

I've got so much to say and so little time to say it. I'll finish this in another letter.

To be continued.

Love you. If you can send me good news or just a thumbs up, it'll really help.

TTYL.

— Cousin Earl

BONUS:

One of my favorite influencers/business men of the past few years (was) Alex Hormozi. And He said this thing that stuck with me about his journey, he said: “I WAS TOO DIFFERENT FOR THE FRIENDS I USED TO HAVE BUT I WASN’T YET WHO I NEEDED TO BE FOR THE FRIENDS I WANTED”. It sounds harsh but we was speaking on the loneliness of transformation, yet how important it is that we continue to forge ahead.