Dear Family,

Do you remember as kids waking up to get those sneakers when they'd release? Seemed like everybody would be at the Foot Locker at 6:00 AM in line, ready to buy a pair of shoes we couldn't really afford.

We lost sleep. Stood in the cold. Spent our seed money for growth. And invested in an appearance that didn't amount to anything. All for what? For people to look at us? Envy us? Like us? And it gets handed down to us like a family heirloom. We were told it's… "culture."

Truth is, we were living in a pretend-for-likes era of social media before the technology even caught up.

The more I sit with it, the more I realize it's like the bubonic plague. Wiping out a whole culture. A whole community. A whole race. Only it's not a physical sickness. It's a mental one. And you don't actually die. You just slowly kill your chances of ever living.

This mentality has created more handcuffs than any victimized opposition ever will. I've come to realize it's the decisions I've made that keep me stuck. It's the bad food I eat that slowly kills my body. It's how I spend my free time, which leads to my inability to show up on schedule for anything. And it's the words I choose to speak, neglecting the power that lies within them.

Yes, family. My life is my problem. What's happened to me, good or bad, ultimately comes down to the decisions I've made.

This journey has been a transformation for me. The kind that happens from the inside out. And one of those changes came with multiple benefits.

I stopped purchasing things for other people.

No, not like that. Come on, I'm not that selfish.

I mean their opinions. I mean their beliefs about how my life should go.

Things like: I stopped paying my barber for haircuts. (Now I cut my own hair, saving me roughly $2400 a year)

Just like I stopped paying the clerk for new clothes. (I make due with what I have, if it’s not broke, I don’t fix it)

Just like I stopped paying the chef to cook me a fine meal. (Deciding to cook versus eating out at restaurants helps me reach both my financial and my fitness goals)

Because my future, and what I think about myself, has become far more important than my past and what you think about me.

And here's the strange part. making certain changes that may appear to be “less” of what others value didn’t actually make me feel less valuable or less loved. It made me feel "more," actually.

Less to hide behind meant more to actually become. I couldn't lean on a pair of Jordans or a designer shirt I couldn't even afford. I had to show up as me. The real me.

And in doing so, I started appreciating things I never noticed before. I appreciated people. Real ones. I appreciated myself. The version of me underneath the costume. And I started appreciating life in a way the mask never let me.

And I noticed something: the moment you remove your armor is the moment you finally get to meet the person wearing it.

And here's something else worth noting: At that moment, you start to realize the eye can be deceptive. Most people aren't so attractive without their mask on. We only truly envy the ones bold enough to show their real face. You just don't know that yet.

That's it.

The heirloom on the mantle is what tricks you into thinking your appearance is more important than your character and personality when it comes to building a real life and real relationships.

Guess what? It doesn't.

So here's the breadcrumb.

How have you allowed your appearance, the idea of you, or the habits you were handed, keep you from being… well, you?

How much stock have you put into what people think, only to find out their opinion has no real value once you walk out of the room?

I just want you to observe this week. Notice what you spend on. What you protect. What you sacrifice your peace and your money for.

And ask yourself if it's actually serving the life you're trying to build.

I love you.

TTYL.

— Earl

Sit with it. Chitchat about it. We'll meet back here next week.